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“I’ve invented this thing I call a ‘scale.’ It accurately measures the weight of things. Let’s weigh his balls and figure out how close we are to ten gallons.”Jim shook his head. “Weight doesn’t measure volume, genius.”“Water weighs about eight pounds to the gallon. Ten gallons of water would weigh eighty pounds. Let’s weigh him and see where we are at.”“Oh… right. Sorry, Hobart.”After subtracting the weight of the wheel barrow, a guess thrown in for weight of skin and blood, and they arrived at seventy-five pounds.“Yeah,” stayed Buster. “I can just feel it, we are close but not quite enough. So, I need beer, lots of beer. And I’m going to need volunteers, lots of volunteers.”“I’ll help!” volunteered Mary. “What can I do?”Jim cried out, astonished. “Now hold on, sweetheart! No daughter of mine is going to… pull on some stranger’s pud on account of some stupid story! Back off now, Dragon Fucker!”Charlinda, currently circling the outskirts of the town, banked hard left and flew right. .and why? ?Ms. Winters' expensive fragrance was still hanging in the air when the regular staff returned. ?Ellie excused herself and went on with her business, trying to leave the scene of the crime as soon as possible.The following afternoon, she had changed into her pink nylon cleaning smock and was on her way out to start her shift when the supervising maid caught up with her. ?"A letter came for you this morning, Ellie," she said and gave the maid an envelope of what appeared to be the hotel stationary. ?Ellie just nodded and hurried on with her trolley. ?She waited until she reached the far end of the hotel before opening the letter.It was written in a feminine handwriting and simply said, "Knock on my door at exactly 3 AM sharp. ?And wear the panties. ?They will look good on you, my little panty thief." ?At the bottom of the letter someone wearing pink lipstick had made a kiss-mark. ?The letter smelled of the same wonderful perfume as the woman had worn the day before. ?Ellie.
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